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Today's Date :
times are noted with daylight savings and the pacific time zone in mind
05.20.01 >2226
I've been spending a lot of time reading and mulling over a couple story ideas that refuse to spill out on to the nice piece of word processing paper on my computer (no amount of persuasion has been able to convince these ideas thus far that it's safe to venture out of the known confines of my mind). Finished The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, which IMO is not as good as its predecessor, and started on Life, the Universe and Everything. Good so far!
Still feeling somewhat restless, though, and aimless. Can't really go anywhere at this time of night. For the past two nights (days?) I've been curled up in bed watching movies and just reading, reading, reading. Have I gotten sick of that already? Hmmmm . . .
05.19.01 >2208
Indiana Jones rocks! WHOOHOO!
"This is intolerable!"
— Prof. Henry Jones, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
>0920
Last night was one of the most relaxing evenings I've had yet. Jocelyn's best friend and several other folks came up from Thousand Oaks to see the Dave Matthews Band live at Pac Bell Park - from all accounts, I heard the concert was pretty awesome, because Carlos Santana showed up and performed three songs with the Band - so I had the room to myself for about nine hours. Watched Forrest Gump and Independence Day and didn't turn on any of the lights save for the colorful chinese lanterns that decorate the top of our window, and lit two candles. Afterwards, I guess I fell asleep as my thoughts drifted here and there. I was kinda pretending the computer wasn't there ; for once I didn't feel like parking myself in front of this screen. Yeah, that's some way to relax, huh?
Two of Jocelyn's friends spent the night with us, and both of them slept on the floor with just a blanket and rolled-up pieces of clothing to serve as pillows. Ouch. But they're both lovely people, and actually, I was glad to have met them.
Don't be surprised if I slip away for a few days, y'all. I think I really do need a break from the Internet for a little bit.
05.17.01 >2104
On the back of the Mike and Ike box of "Strawberries'nCream" candy I'm munching on : A great candy isn't made — it's born. Now there's a kool quote if I ever saw one . . . and me having a pretty sweet tooth, I wouldn't have noticed this otherwise!
>2041
24-Hour Quiet Hours start tonight at 11 because finals have unofficially begun for some folks, and will soon begin for basically everybody else on Monday. That pretty much means seclude yerself in your room and try not to make too much noise so you won't get kicked out of the residence hall by the RA. Ah, dorm life.
>1937
I guess I'm a somewhat sensitive person, but how far does one go before sensitivity turns into self-pity? I get uncomfortable around people who are angry about something (not necessarily angry at me), because I don't want to say anything that would inflame him/her further, but at the same time, I want to respond in a way that would calm him/her down. Most of the time, I ain't successful when I try this.
Was talking to a friend of mine last night - well, okay, call him a brother, because in a lot of ways he is like a big brother to me - and he was a little frustrated because some people in his life aren't being direct with him :
Flavirufus : It's just Bull, why cant people just come out and SAY what they are feeling?I'm guilty of being covert sometimes, though, and sometimes I meet people who get covert about me. It stinks.
me : Do you think they're afraid of what the reaction will be or are they just being stupid?
Flavirufus : Not sure. I just wish that people would be straight with me. If you like me, hate me, I don't give a rats a--, just tell me OK? Don't be so d--- covert about it.
I hate soggy cereal.
Only one more exam to go, and it really consists of three essays I must write. Whoohoo! Next week I'm school-free!
05.16.01 >2234
I admire dancers for their grace and skill, just as I admire athletes who practice for the particular sport they play for. But I guess the ideal American retirement involves not keeping up with the usual exercise routine, even though that's what helped them make the team or the troupe in the first place. Then they end up getting the potbelly and too soft limbs. Does that make any sense?
>1951
No, I'm not suicidal. No, I'm not depressed. I'm just being serious for once. In the day and age we live in, I consider only some things to be certain. One of those things is not how or when I will die. Any kind of circumstances today could result in me passing from this life to eternity. (Don't deny it, either!) If I were to die today, though, then hopefully you would find this among my meager possessions : a letter.
>1801
People in love are sometimes rather intolerable, but the rest of the time, they're so amusing to watch from afar. I mean, really - when was the last time you came across a pair of lovebirds and you couldn't help but see how much they practically dripped love like sap just from the way they interacted with each other? (And just for further clarification, y'all, I am not referring to man-man and woman-woman arrangements. I mean man-woman.)
man : "Oh, honey, you look so wonderful I could eat you up right here!"Well, maybe that's a little exaggerated, but I still find it to be somewhat sickening.
woman (giggling) : "Brad, you're such a romantic flirt."
man : "I'm serious, Brenda! You're sexy. You're a keeper! I feel so proud to have you hanging on my arm."
woman : "Oh, Brad . . ."*smooching sounds*
Just a little disclaimer : I have never had a serious relationship before with a guy. So if my opinion about lovebirds seems somewhat biased, then maybe you should know this : when you do see me walking down the street, hand in hand with a boy, you wouldn't catch us dead doing or saying anything Brad and Brenda would.
>1708
Chocolate milk, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Someday I'm going to regret my daily chocolate intake, but for now I'm pretty crazy about it. Help!
>0105
Neat idea : apparently some friends of a friend are proposing a Towel Day on May 25 in honor of Douglas Adams.
"All Douglas Adams fans are encouraged to carry a towel with them for the day. Make sure that the towel is conspicous-use it as a talking point to encourage those who have never read the Hitchhiker's Guide to go pick up a copy. Wrap it around your head, use it as a weapon, soak it in nutrients- whatever you want! Most minds in the universe are constrained to the laws of Physics, let us remember those that broke the laws, and got away with it. So long Douglas, and thanks for all the fish!"Indeed . . . thanks. If you've never read any of the books in the The Hitchhiker Trilogy or Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, I encourage you to pick up a copy from the library or the bookstore. He's an amazing man who will be missed muchly.
>0032
Yesterday - okay, I mean Monday - night I actually went to sleep before midnight. Tonight, it ain't happening. I only feel an inkling of sleepiness right now. Is that a good thing? It certainly ain't a healthy thing, but I ain't surprised.
05.15.01 >2300
Chicken Soup for the Weblog. I totally love this! Also check out his blog. Awww, just click on the "MAIN" link already! For goodness' sake, do I have to give links for everything?? *mock scowl* (Link from Trish. And yes, that's a mock scowl, not a real one. I wouldn't allow you to face my displeasure unless you gave me a good reason to. No, really!)
>2208
If the second 'graph of my last post was a little unclear, then maybe I should clarify. My grandfather died almost three months ago, and I still miss him terribly. Yet it seems like the memory of him has been forgotten already. Or maybe it's just me. And yesterday, a blogger I really became fond of because of the words she recorded in her journal passed away at the tender age of 19. She died too young.
>1912
Ever come across those wacky "broken links"? Got this one from Bruce's page : /asdfhjkl. Totally cracked me up.
You can't totally forget about the dead, can you? Especially loved ones who've died. It would seem rather stupid to forget all the memories this person left us, but it would still be morbid if you went overboard with that whole deal.
05.14.01 >2251
Sometime next week, I must move out of this cozy room that I've called home for the past eight months or so. I don't think I want to anymore. When Jocelyn (my roommate) moved in at the end of January, she actually helped me (not literally) get off my butt and decorate my side of the place. And I have no inclination to take down everything on my wall, even though I know I must. Yeah, just when I'm finally able to get all worked up about decorating my room, I get evicted. Oh, joy.
I've got two choices for this summer : a magazine internship in Colorado (which I really hope and pray I get!), or I stay here in S.F. and work 'til school starts again in August. For some unknown reason, I've been looking into several offers to tutor kids, if I end up staying here for the summer. What's sweet about the whole deal is that I have a place to stay, no matter which way I go. Woohoo!
A friend of mine is in Australia right now, most likely taking pictures of the Great Barrier Reef and enjoying herself. I envy her and miss her muchly. Come back soon, Laura . . .
>2125
verse of the week : "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." philippians 2 : 3
blog of the week : mello-mello land
(Courtesy of yourDictionary.com) - word of the week : insouciant. usage : careful of the spelling: and "a" not an "e" in the suffix. The noun is "insouciance."
>2109
Just finished watching Labyrinth. What a strange movie! But a great one. Well, two finals down, a paper and an exam to go . . . oh, joy.
05.13.01 >2158
Yes, the blog looks different. Which is good. Which is the way I wanted it. Koo-el. (The extended version of "kool," y'all.)
>2003
Currently listening to : Rachael Lampa. Only 15 years old, but she has a killer voice. Very big in the Xian music world. Unknown in mainstream . . . for the most part.
This weekend was not the typical Mother's Day weekend. For one thing, us kids seemed kind of ambivalent to the fact that today was s'posed to be a day for celebrating moms everywhere. Well, we did, but not exclusively. I felt like I could've done more to make the day one to remember for my mom. Tomorrow everything will go back to normal . . .
It didn't help either that my dad and I didn't get along very well while I was home - or whenever I was around him this entire weekend, for that matter (as yesterday's entry proved). Today I wasn't too pissed at him . . . just annoyed with him. Not sure how much of a difference that is, but — *sigh* Yes, I've only got two parents. God-given parents. But they're still human, and so'm I.
From inflight correction : "Y'know, sometimes... it's 2001 and I look at the shoddy browsers and hardware we've got and I'm really glad we never did make flying cars." Amen, man.
05.12.01 >2333
Good thing I have this page to rant on, else I would've gotten into a big fight with my dad already, and things wouldn't be so quiet right now. He must be his usual grumpy self x 2, which makes me dread tomorrow if his mood doesn't lighten up. No, I'm not as pissed as I was earlier, but I'm kind of ignoring him, anyway.
I can't wait to get back to my room . . .
>2231
Why in Hades did I come home for?
Yes, tomorrow is Mother's Day. But with the way my dad's acting, you'd think my mom was lame or something. Thanks, but I don't need to put up with this crap. Dad, I'm 20. I guess you never noticed that I try to act more responsible when I'm home, unlike last summer. You're pissing me off.
05.11.01 >1254
I think it's amazing how people flock to you when you're feeling suicidal and tell you that they're available to talk to when you feel like talking. Maybe that's why suicidal people try to keep their plans to kill themselves under wraps. The only reason why I bring this up is 'cause things return to normal once a suicidal person no longer feels maniacally depressed. And then sometime later on, the same person finally succeeds in committing suicide. Kinda sad. Where'd the change go? Why weren't you available when s/he needed to talk to you after that last suicidal episode? You said s/he could talk to you anytime . . .
I love going to the mall just when all the shops open. You pretty much have the whole place to yerself (yeah, I'm sure every other early bird thinks this, too).
>1800
*deep breath* Ohhhhkay, everybody . . . Angelfire seems to have begun munching on my pages for no reason, so I switched to Tripod. I'm still fuming, kinda, so you'll hafta fergive me if I come across as a bit curt right now. But anywho, here's my blog, as short as it is now. Enjoy, whilst I try to fix all the links and make it work like before!