01.10.02 >2200

1. What was your first job? I worked as an assistant at a dentist's office - sterilizing equipment, refilling the supplies when they were needed, making sure the waiting room stayed neat and clean, tearing down and setting up the rooms before the next patient arrived. The wife of one of my dad's friends and co-workers needed a helper, I guess (she was the receptionist). It was actually pretty fun.

2. How old were you when you had your first kiss? *blush* You're talking to a girl who's never been kissed yet.

3. What was your first car? What happened to it? Haven't had my first car, really. Too many of these "firsts" haven't occurred in my life yet. Sheesh!

4. What was your first concert? '99, and it wasn't just one concert on that day - it was more like three! Went to a Christian music festival, is why.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? A dinner to attend tomorrow night, a trip to Daly City on Saturday, church Sunday and the usual in between stuff. My weekend seems to extend across the entire week itself, okay? This is what happens when you get too long of a winter vacation!!


Gonna try something different tomorrow, just for the heck of it. Stay tuned.


I have to confess somethin'. Twice during this past week and last week I've been told that I'm the best example of a Christian living an actual Christian life (or something to that effect). Well, I don't feel like one. Am I s'posed to?

If only you knew how inadequate I feel sometimes, especially when I'm with other godly people who I think do the walk and the talk so much better than I. Not that I mean to get down on myself on purpose, but I think I've got a long way to go!


C'mon, guys, give it a rest. Lucas would never let this scruffy-looking fella touch any of his movies! (link via prolific.org)

On another front ... well, I usually don't like to pick on other Christians, but it's no wonder people don't like televangelists.

01.09.02 >2223

One more rant tonight and then I'm gone. I think I feel a migraine of some sort coming on.

Out of all the Known Space tales I've read so far, "Intent to Deceive" is the most hilarious. Right now I'm on "Madness Has Its Place," but I'm eager to get to "A Gift from Earth." Larry Niven has this ability to pull me back to the story just when I want to set the dang book down and give up on the whole thing. I think he's the first writer who's ever been able to do that to me.


There are now two kids "officially" outta the house : me and Miriam. Miriam moved out last weekend. I moved out in August of 1998, and I seem to keep wandering back every summer and winter during my vacations.

Since I'm still home on holiday, it feels rather weird to not have her around. I mean, it's not like we severed our relationship once she stepped out the door, but I'm too used to her being here, in Livermore, and not on the other side of the Bay Area. I feel sorrier for my parents, of course - they're stuck with two Internet-addicted kids who usually don't do much around the house, and they miss Miriam terribly already. For some reason, so do I.


This Star Wars fanfilm is the best! Be sure you have Quicktime first in order to watch it. Yes, I'm ordering you to watch it. Get moving!


You mean you guys just noticed? I've been tired of it since the beginning of October.

01.08.02 >2206

The blog list underwent a major clean-up - a few were added, some were taken out. The list was alphabetized (no favoritism). The ones with dates beside 'em mean that was the last update. More clean-up to come, to the archives and to the links as I mentioned earlier, just not right now. Mebbe this way I can keep myself occupied during the rest of my vacation!

01.05.02 >2214

It's strange how little things meant to amuse you can suddenly provoke a deep thinking session. Take this radio drama (the exact episode in question is called Dead Air), for instance. A detective-turned-priest is helping a few old comrades from Scotland Yard hunt down a demon-possessed man who seems to be trying to copy a fifteen-year-old case - the priest's last before he resigned as a detective. The dialogues between the d-p man and the priest are somewhat thought-provoking on the nature of evil.

"Mercy is not consistent with our nature of evil. It is one of the reasons why evil will prevail over good. Evil doesn’t care. There is no sensible order, no humanity, no mercy or grace, no reason. If we ever show those attributes, it is only to deceive or as a means to an end. And so evil will always have the edge over good, because good is constrained by its very existence. It is disgusting in its orderliness. Evil is free. Evil races ahead. And your time is running out ..."
Kudos to whoever plays the d-p guy - he's very good at giving the listener the chills.


Is this a deficiency of mine?

I am starting to get really, really frustrated here. I'm willing to hear a vent, but when I try to respond to it, I feel foolish and very naive. That I'm young and inexperienced in the ways of the world (update, 1/7 : guess what I figured out, like, right after I wrote this? I just remembered that besides a few people, all of my friends are a lot older 'n me! Meaning they've "been there and done that" and I haven't, so how can I expect to offer counsel in a situation that I've never been in before but they have? Yeah, exactly what I was thinking) don't count in my favor, either. I don't know all the details to your situation, but I'm honestly trying to help. And yet when I'm maintaining "radio silence" and give no indication that I'm listening, or waiting and wondering if there's more to your story, I get things like, "Are you there?" To say, "Look, I don't have time to listen to this" would be rude. The very thought of not giving you my attention when you're down and want to talk is abhorrent to me. But to not be able to say something in return when I don't know what to say is even worse. That I'm not able to be there to at least give you a hug or sit with you for awhile makes me want to cry.

Comprendes, I hope, because I'm starting to feel like my so-called "good listening" skills are just no good.

01.04.02 >2230

Looks like the Supreme Court picked up another case - this one's about police carrying out searches on public transportation.

"Without mentioning the Sept. 11 jetliner hijackings specifically, the Bush administration invoked the war on terrorism and the concern over airplane security in trying to persuade the high court to take the case."

Please. All they seem to be doing is trying to get the footing they need to start conducting searches without warrants. But then again, it seems like some police departments are refusing to cooperate with the FBI where Bush's terrorist campaign is concerned. Give me a break.

~ * ~

Don't ever try this at home. No joke.


The MacWorld Expo is coming ...

01.03.02 >2222

First of the Year!

1. You've just won a complete collection of movies starring one actor - what actor would you pick? Sandra Bullock. She rocks!

2. What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Lord of the Rings - for the third time.

3. What was the last video or DVD that you bought? Actually, I didn't buy it (Lee was very kind and bought it for me after I kept ranting about how much I watched it), and I only have ONE video in my "collection" - Episode I.

4. What movie could you watch over and over again and not get sick of? Tricky question here ... as it is, my range of movies is still pretty limited. I'll go with Men in Black.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? Helping my sister move her stuff to our grandmother's tomorrow (er - I mean Saturday), where she'll be staying from here on out, and then hopping to my apt. to take my computer home. Beyond that, I think it's the usual : church, writing, reading, sleeping in, maybe going to the library. I dunno, things could change.


Gene Wolfe's tribute to JRR Tolkien. Awesome. (Link via cogito ergo blog, who got this memoir from KATA IWANNHN. Yes, this is shameless blog advertising - so shoot me already.)

01.02.02 >2301

Red: 1/100 Blue: 12/100 White: 27/100 Yellow: 5/100

Take the Color Code Test
by Dano

Gentle human dignity, huh? Riiiiight. (link via Christophine)


In general, I think graffiti art is pretty kool because of the raw qualities of the art itself ... but stick to really, really big pieces o' canvas if you have to, will ya? Spraying on public and private property is a no-no.

My sister found this Christian graffiti site a few days ago. Way koo-el, though some of the "canvases" were outta line (IMO).

~ * ~

Thick and Thin

Time thickens.
Sticky, taffy-brown,
the malleable gunk of family
memories, resemblances, resentments,
anecdotes thumped and punched
by a succession of urgent hands
hardens and cools, but early lumps remain,
fingerprints, palmprints, even marks of teeth.
You spend a lifetime trying to smooth these out.

Time thins.
To the original mix nothing is added
but a steady trickle wrung from years,
a faintly salty broth, not tears, not sweat.
The solution weakens until only
a feeble fingerprint of this first scent
trembles half-imagined on the air.
That earliest essence — what was it again?
You spend a lifetime trying to get it back.

- Rachel Hadas


The State of Texas is asking the U.S. Supreme Court to review a case overturned by a federal appeals court last year after the defendant's attorney kept falling asleep during several court sessions.

Watch out, folks, it looks like lawyerly competency is at stake. Or has it always been?

Elsewhere in the news, the town of Mercer, Pa., swore in its first teenage mayor today.


I'm keeping sleepiness and grouchiness at bay here, so don't mind me. Watch out for a revamped links page ... all the news links will probably be getting their own place pretty soon because I have a lot more links to put up in that section.

Why Evil Exists : opinions from CS Lewis and Kenneth J. Wolf.


Why Christians hate Harry Potter and yet love Lord of the Rings. A pretty ironic situation there. For the record, I'm a Christian who likes both.

01.01.02 >1635

Some memories from last night :

- munching on pizza at the first house we hopped to
- watching the guys play pool
- playing who knows how many rounds of Speed
- meeting several new people
- munching on taquitos, nachos and sourdough bread with spinach dip at the second house (obviously there was a lot of "munching" involved, if you haven't noticed already)
- munching on cookies and sipping apple cider at the third house
- watching the countdown at Times Square in NYC on TV and making a lot of racket with our party blowers and poppers when the clock hit midnight
- playing Catch Phrase, timer or no (I think I scared several people, including my youth pastor, when I yelled for them to shut up so they could hear me better - I think I'm one of the quietest people in the youth group)
- playing two rounds of hide-and-seek in the dark back at the church - boys against girls - yeah, baby!
My brother and cousin crashed once we arrived at home this morning and are just now waking up from their "nap." For a person who only got about four hours of sleep last night, I was pretty wired after all the excitement and celebration. In fact, I was awake enough to hang out at the mall with my sisters and my other cousin this afternoon.

Can we do this again next year?