04.20.01 >1721

Hmmm. Boredom only hits me once in a while. This is one of those whiles.

Now I'm watching Center Stage, which is actually a pretty good teen flick. Or young adult flick. Whatever.

Was actually able to keep my hair down today. (No, this doesn't have to do with anything.) My hair is downright Polynesian - thick, wild, frizzy. Want to keep it straight? I have to use a curling iron. A big fat one.


There must be something about rainy days that compels people to say inside their homes and get bored easily. Folks up in Seattle probly think we're weenies 'cause we grimace and open our umbrellas at the slightest drizzle. *sigh*

I'm watching Speed for the third time this semester, and I'm glad I don't like Keanu Reeves for his looks anymore. No, Mr. Vincent Perez beats ole Reeves at acting - and at being more handsome - any day!


I wish I was in Colorado right now . . . don't ask why, I just want to be there. *L* (Hope you both are having fun. *grin* You know who you are!)

One more thing on dreams - last thing, honest! A couple days ago, a friend of mine told me about a recurring dream he'd had that involved "a girl in a block of stained glass." I thought that was a neat image and decided to hash it out into a fairy tale. I've only gotten through five paragraphs, but hey, like a certain secret poet I know said, "That's five paragraphs that didn't exist before." Might post the whole story here when I'm done writing it, so keep yer eyes peeled.

Another lazy update (lazy as in I don't want to put up a different time entry) : check out Necronicles, "the webzine for cemetery photographers." Uh, what? (Well heck, Rhe, you said you wanted to explore the Death theme, right?) The site isn't exactly . . . creepy. It's definitely unusual, though. Should I be worried? *pause* Nahhhhhh.

It's pouring outside. I feel like splashing in a puddle! Two showers in one day - good idea? *grin*


I'm surrounded by roommates who seem to like talking with a Brit accent and poems still comin' out from the dream run. Yep, got one more yesterday. But now I think I'll focus on a darker theme, though I don't want to paint it as glorious or gory or . . . well, abstract. Death is something that a lot of folks fear, after all. But why?

verse for today : "Where there is no vision, the people perish . . ." proverbs 29 : 18 Something I wrote in my notebook last Tuesday : "Vision is powerful. It gives us reason to live." Ever met a person who has no goals for his/her life, no dreams or aims he/she wants to achieve? Do you understand now why that person would have no wish to live if he/she wasn't gunning to achieve something? What would be the point of being alive, anyway? (Hey, you guys, please don't turn suicidal on me if you're reading this. If you have absolutely no goals or dreams you want to see fulfilled, then think about what you know you can do best, what you love doing, and go from there. Dying before your time causes more anguish than you would ever know.)

One more thing about dreams before I move on and head to DreamLand : keeping a dream journal is actually a great idea, esp. if you're a writer. You never know what kind of stories you may be able to write after a night of vivid dreams.

04.19.01 >1202

I need a nap. I could use some calamine lotion, too ; dang spider bites have made two of my fingers swell and itch, which is definitely the worst combination of sensations a person could ever ever be subject to! (Notice that I said I need a nap. That accounts for the trace of hysteria you hear in this entry.) Funny, though, I actually got a decent amount of sleep last night. So where's this urge to nap coming from!?

I think the dream run has ended. Wasn't too bad a run, either, because I was able to write three new poems this week. I think that's a record . . . Classic Han Solo quote to back that up : "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." Though I don't claim to be as cocky as he is. Just, um, a personal disclaimer, I swear.

04.18.01 >0001

Still stuck on the topic of dreams. I think a lot of poetry could come out of my little head while trying to get my thoughts straightened out about dreams. Dreams, dreams, dreams.

Just got a few emails from my dad about some serious meningitis cases that seem to have hit the schools in Livermore, my hometown. One was an article from the S.F. Chronicle ; the other two were just information pages on meningitis (here's one of 'em). Dang it, I knew this kid. He was one of the sweetest guys I'd ever met while attending that school. He knew my sisters and brother. Why did he have to die?

04.17.01 >1845

Poetry page is up now, y'all. I've gotta take breaks from blogging often to write some poems. April happens to be National Poetry Month. Whoohoo!

Oh, yeah *grin* See that little gal in the upper right corner? That'd be me! Heehee. (And this is actually an entry I posted earlier today - I just didn't feel like wrangling with the HTML to post another time. Yeah, so I'm lazy . . .)


Okay, that little episode has passed, for the most part. I have no idea why I was feeling that way all of a sudden. Weird and totally puzzling. I was emailing a friend too when that hit, and now he's a little worried about me because I told him about it. Man, I think I worried myself . . .


Wish I knew what's wrong with me today. My mind's helter-skeltzer right now, and one minute I'm all cheerful before I suddenly feel a stab of self-doubt and outright depression. Dang it. I don't need this now . . .

I've got this thing with dreams and reality. Can't stop thinking about either of 'em. Even started a poem on a combo of these two ideas, then quickly gave it up because I lost interest in writing it.

Shoot. My eyes are tearing up. I don't even know why I'm crying!

04.16.01 >2311

I am seriously about to swear. This stupid computer just gobbled up my post!! Aauuuugh! I am clenching my teeth so hard right now that it ain't even funny . . .

Shoot. I don't even feel like posting anymore. *glaring at computer and biting my tongue*


I'm gettin' restless. I'm wondering if I'm too krazy about this page. About blogging in general. If I ain't posting entries to my own, I'm looking for other blogs on the Web. Krazy. I want to order something online. I want to stick my head out the window and feel the breeze touch my face. I need to stretch. (Cripes, I hope this doesn't sound like a buncha complaints. Heck no. These are random wishes and wants. No "need-to-be-dones" or "have-to-dos." Honest.) I wonder if I should get some MP3s. I guess I should finish my sandwich? I want some chocolate!

Sat with my little sister and cousin yesterday. That wasn't a good idea - ya see, I practically laughed my way through the whole sermon. Now why do I only do it at the San Francisco church and not in Livermore? Shoot. Sometimes I don't even understand myself.


It's the middle of the day, for goodness' sake, and I'm feelin' half-asleep still! Aargh! Now I see why they say you feel more tired if you get too much sleep . . .

None of my relations read this page (should I be thankful? Ok, yes, I shall be thankful, post-Easter thankful anyway). 'Cause I'll tell you one thing - my family's kinda screwed up. Take yesterday, for instance : my aunt and her "future sister-in-law" started arguing during our Easter lunch. The "future sister-in-law" happens to be this aunt's best friend, who's engaged to one of my uncles. I have no idea what this aunt's problem is, but I got really ticked at her for causing a scene. I know my little sis was mad, too, 'cause she's pretty close to my uncle's fiancZe. Okay, wait a sec . . . this aunt likes to cause a scene - that's the problem. Uh, did I mention that I have a screwed-up family?

04.15.01 >2033

Fer a second there, I wasn't sure if my connection would work when I got to my room. Wish I had "Worms : Armageddon" on my 'puter - that's the only game I'd play last week. Cripes, and when my cousin Aaron came over . . . you couldn't peel me away from watchin' him and my brother beat up on each other if you'd tried! And I don't remember laughing as hard as I had while watching these two monkeys.

*sigh* I'm back in my dorm, and I seriously don't feel like being here. Wish I was back home . . .

Went to early morning service before we came back to S.F. today - and I say it's early 'cause 8:30 is definitely an early time fer me! During the sermon they had two drama scenes : one was of the crucifixion and one was of the resurrection. The crucifixion scene nearly made me cry. The props and costumes were great, and I thought the folks who put the drama on did a good job. The only thing that bugs me about Easter is that some folks come to church only on this holiday and on Christmas Eve. The rest of the time, you never seem 'em.

04.14.01 >1754

Stayed out pretty late last night - went to a friend's house after the Good Friday service finished, munched on snacks and banana split sundaes, and watched "Bounce." The concept was okay, but overall the movie was boring, IMO.

Still reading Shadow, which is becoming very interesting. (I keep wondering if I should give a little summary of this book, like last time. Hmmmm . . . yes? No? Okay - how 'bout a maybe? How about the way the author writes the book instead?) For the most part, the novel has kept me interested : a novel about a novelist and the way his life changes after his Xian conversion makes for a great story. Add the "stalker" element and you've got a thriller fer sure. The author basically goes through each week of summer, from the beginning of July to the beginning of September, and gives a detailed account of everything that the main character experiences. The descriptions are pretty kool, and the action comes at a steady pace, right before you think the novel is going to get boring. At the very least, you don't know what else to expect to be thrown at you, but sometimes I caught myself predicting what would happen next (not that all of my predictions came true or anything). Not sure that's a good thing, but oh well . . .

Good Friday service yesterday was very unique in itself. We had a little time for worship, but most of the service was set aside for the Communion. What happened was that all four pastors and their wives stood at the front of the sanctuary with little cups of grape juice and the tiny pieces of manufactured unleavened bread (yep, this church has four pastors : the senior pastor, the youth pastor, the childrens' pastor, and the outreach pastor). We got into groups by family - those who hadn't come with family just hooked up with other "single" folks and formed groups of their own. We were supposed to reflect on how thankful we were for the Easter season, and then we were called up by group to take Communion and get prayed over by the pastor we went to. It was actually a very kool experience.

Oh yeah, and yes, I know yesterday was Friday the 13th. But no I don't believe in that superstitious crap. It was also Good Friday. What a combo, eh?

04.13.01 >1401

Still surfing for more blogs. (Sheesh, I can see it all now on Monday : "This is how I spent my Spring Break . . . I went to the library, I read, I cleaned the house, and I spent a lot of time in front of my computer." Big whoopee.) As of right now the count is at 21 and is steadily rising. Cripes, Rhe, get a life!

Went to another blog and found out that there's a curfew in Cincinnatti, 'cause a lot of black folks are getting rowdy after a young dude (yes, a black guy) got shot by a white police officer about three days ago. There's been looting, rock and bottle throwing, angry protests, etc. happening ever since. Yes, riots. My message to these people? Get real. You don't hafta get up in arms and claim yer whole race is being "persecuted," as my friend Lee put it, just because some of yer young folk haven't been cooperating with the police, and only because they were resisting arrest after putting themselves and other innocent people around them in danger. I don't care about yer skin color, but that's a pretty poor excuse to start some civil unrest. Again I say, Get real.


verse for today : "Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'" luke 23 : 34a

I had a hard time tryin' to decide which verse I should put up this morning. Hmmm, should I do one fer Good Friday, or should I continue with Ecc. 3? Good Friday won.

And speakin' of Good Friday, I saw this neat quote back at Jeff's page about Jesus: "The Jew who couldn't be killed." I thought that was hilarious - but true!

Started the Paris book and also another novel called Ezekiel's Shadow ("Is she nuts!?" No, actually, the Paris book was makin' me a little sleepy, even though the descriptions are pretty kool. Have no idea why. So I started reading the other novel). Shadow is about a bestselling horror story author who recently became a Xian. It seems like someone is stalking him, but he/she's acting like one of the guy's story characters. At the same time, he's struggling with his new faith, and while these two elements might not seem to mesh well . . . I haven't gotten that far into the story yet. (Hehe - bet you were waiting for me to give you the whole summary, huh?) Stay tuned . . .

In the meantime, on the world front - as you may well know, China has released the 24 crewmembers of the spy plane that landed in their territory. There were several folks who said they were just stallin' so they could strip all the info and equipment that they could off the plane. Now really, I don't have anything against Chinese (heeeeeeck no), but their government really needs to kool it. Really. I have no idea what that plane was doin' at the time in that strip of airspace, but IMO, China was just being a bully.

04.12.01 >1305

verse for today : ". . . a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance . . ." ecclesiastes 3 : 4

Whew. Went to my former high school about two hours ago to hear my lil sister speak at the Xian club there. The club's called F.I.S.H., and each letter stands for something . . . and this week was Hook Week (for the "H" in F.I.S.H.). Basically, it was "Come to the club, eat free food, and hear the Gospel message." And my sister was the one who gave the message this time. She did a great job. (Ya hear that, Stic? Great job!)

Everyone's getting off early so we can go see our old pediatrician - she's retiring very soon, so she wanted to see us before she left the practice. That might sound kinda strange, but she's an old family friend; even treated my cousins. It's gonna be sad to not have her as our doc anymore.

Book-wise . . . Festina and her partner and the Admiral landed on Melaquin. Her partner and the admiral both died soon after, and Festina met up with a "glass woman" named Oar. Thus began a journey all over the planet, partly in exploration, partly in pursuit of the other Explorers who had previously been dropped on the planet surface. Festina meets up with her former Academy buddies, Jelca (whom she had a crush on once) and Ullis, and found out they were nearly finished building a ship that would help them get off the "Planet of No Return." In the meantime, Festina also met up with one of her former instructors from the Academy, a crazy character called Phylar Tobit, who helped her find some artificial skin to cover up the big ole birthmark on her left cheek - the deformity that had deemed Festina as an "Expendable Crew Member" in the first place. In the end, however, she found out that her former crush Jelca was plotting to destroy the entire planet as soon as the ship took off, and so she set out to stop him. She did. He died.

If ya ask me, that's where the story should've ended, but instead it goes on to show how Festina became the first "Explorer" Admiral to sit on the High Council. An interesting twist. The story overall was okay, but some parts of it were pretty confusing. Still - if ya want to check this book out, I say go ahead. The general concepts of discrimination and duty do mix together nicely here.

Okay, next book!

04.11.01 >1509

Cripes. You start surfing sites at Blogger and you end up finding about two handfuls of new blogs to explore.

I spend waaaaaaaaay too much time on this machine . . .

Oh, and BTW, the Admiral Festina's s'posed to escort to Melaquin in Expendable ain't as insane as I thought he'd be (drat). He's just old and senile. Humph.

Got youth group tonight - I hope we don't play any stupid or krazy games. After what's been happening these past few days at church, I'm not exactly in the mood for 'em.


verse for today : ". . . a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build . . ." ecclesiastes 3 : 3

Went to the Ladies' thing last night. Boy, talk about surprises. We ended up staying there for about an hour more. Why? Well, let's just say God was in the house. And I mean literally.

And then this morning, went to prayer again. It was - well, even more surprising. I actually felt a deep urge to pray, something I haven't felt in a long time. My friend Chris got up towards the end, and we did a little "March Around Jericho" around the room where we hold our youth group meetings (and it's a pretty large room!). I felt a little stupid, and tense, and tired, but it was a kool experience. God is omnipresent (He's everywhere, in other words), but when you feel His manifest presence in the room . . . WHOA. Sometimes you can't even stand when that happens!

Went to the library yesterday and spent several hours there. Was just telling my friend Robert in an IM message that a college student going to the library to hang out is nothin' short of amazing, ok? But the library is my hangout, believe it or not. *sniffs haughtily* Not that I'm a genius or a geek or anything (I do wear glasses, but my clothes are totally hip), I just like to read a lot. And where else can ya find lots of books besides at the library?? I checked out two neat books . . . okay, several neat books. One is about Paris - from the view of about 20 or 30 different famous authors. Another is a sci-fi novel called Expendable by James Alan Gardner, which I'm reading right now. (Seriously - I think reading is the only activity that will get my eyes off this monitor.) This book is about an Explorer named Festina Ramos. Now, one thing ye should know about Explorers . . . they are known as Expendable Crew Members (ECMs) in the story. They are "the unwanted, flung to the farthest corners of the galaxy to investigate hostile planets and strange, vicious creatures. Out there, there are a thousand different - and terrible - ways to die." They are "the ugly, the flawed, the misfit, the deformed." I just started it last night, but it caught my attention from the start. Festina is s'posed to escort an unstable Admiral to Melaquin, the "Planet of No Return" - yeah, she's s'posed to vanish without a trace. But since I've got about an inch more of pages to go through, I guess she doesn't just die. Veddy interesting.


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Sarah Navarro